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Alright, so today is a rather boring day. I've been sent to the painful attic to clean out it's depths. I almost died from the dust. :( I hate taking down Christmas stuff, I mean... guh. Christmas is amazing, snow is beautiful, but taking down lights is another thing. And the tree?! I almost broke my back pulling the stupid thing down the stairs.
Alright, done complaining. Phew.. I think I've had a good day so far. I didn't wake till noon, it was amazing. I made that image up there about a week back. I really like it and it's like one of the best things I have made. Like?
I think that's about it, I'm going to end this with a little short story I wrote a million years ago, just so I can post it on here for friends who are NOT TDM people. :]
------
She Walks -
She walks in circles, damned and alone. Her center point is a rock, the very rock she slides her fingers upon as she walks. The ground beneath her has eroded away, nothing but sand beneath her toes. Nothing but nothing as she would like to say.
It's a desert around her, a land of waste. It once stood strong, once stood proud, but now it's gone. Erased from the very ground she walks upon. The memories of what were are the only things she holds on to, fearful of those memories slipping away. Nothing else matters, nothing else pains her so, just the memories of what use to be.
She walks to forget, to erase the memories and the pains in her heart. She walks in her circle forcing the memories of pain to dissipate. With each lap something is lost, with each step something is gone. It's a never ending cycle, of pain and remorse, as she walks to forget, walks in only one course. She knows the tears are falling, she knows she can not stop them. They hit her cheeks and tumble to the ground, to be lost in the nothingness, like everything else.
The rock has obtained a groove, from her fingers against it's surface. A groove so deep her hand is almost lost. All the pain, all the suffering, it has all gone into the rock. The rock has its own path, one carved into it's side. It matches that of his owner as she walks along side. It knows nothing of her pain and her suffering, only that he's bound to her, and that he's helping her continue on.
She walks.
The world has lost her in its own pain, forgetting the child it placed upon its surface. She's damned to walk, in that big circle, forgetting the past, forgetting the people. Her family is gone and she is alone, there is nothing for her to do but walk. Walk in circles, walk in dirt. The dirt left from the surrounding world piling in on her. Her tears help, to remove the dust, but it's still piling, burying her alive.
There is no escape from this hell. She knows no way out and truly, she would rather not find one. She's ok with where she is, knowing the world is caving in on her has brought her some kind of peace. It's not hope in her heart, but it's a form of knowing it will be ok. She's not going to live, she's not going to die, but she knows she going to survive this miserable pain for one more day, only to repeat the cycle. Trying to think of the future is lost to her, for she knows if she does it will all be lost, even the memories of what was she holds on to dearly.
Her fingers will hit the center of the rock one day and it's unstable weight will cave in on the ground beneath her. She will collapse, she will die. She will be in pain, and she knows it. It is just another thing that nags at her brain. Everything except for what was, and what she hopes will come is shoved away. There is no room in her heart anymore for her pains and her regrets for she has vowed to let them go. Let them float away and find someone else to cause torment in.
She hopes there are others, people unlike herself. Ones that can steer off of their never ending course to find a better light. She's stuck where she is, and she knows it it because of free will. The idea of walking off has come up but once, shoved away instantly. No reason to abandon what you know, no reason to leave it behind. Why die fighting, when she can forever live in solitude? A solitude that of course causes pain, but what does not?
Her tears fall, soaking her clothing. She finds herself regretting her decisions which is something she vowed never to do. Sighing she glancing at her fingers, at the groove they have caused. A simple movement, that is all that is needed. There is nothing physical holding her to the surface, nothing keeping her there. Her path is pretty deep but she can find her way out, all she has to do is lift her fingers from its surface.
Glancing away and out at the sky she sighs and closes her eyes. If only she was strong enough, if only. Without thinking, without stopping her circle she lifts her fingers from the surface for a moment. The hellish screams in her head are enough to drive a man insane, drive him to his knees. It's a thousand storms ripping apart her insides, it's a million people screaming out their lungs. It's the world complaining about her stopping, it's the world forcing its pain on her. After a brief second of the screaming in her head she caves. Screaming out herself she places her fingers back on the rock as she continues on in her path. The tears flow freely, as she smiles a little.
No escape, no need to try. The world won't let her, forcing her back into the constant path. She is destined to die, and die she will. There is no fighting, there is no escape. She is stuck. Stuck in this hell. Alone. Damned. Broken.
She walks.
Alright, done complaining. Phew.. I think I've had a good day so far. I didn't wake till noon, it was amazing. I made that image up there about a week back. I really like it and it's like one of the best things I have made. Like?
I think that's about it, I'm going to end this with a little short story I wrote a million years ago, just so I can post it on here for friends who are NOT TDM people. :]
------
She Walks -
She walks in circles, damned and alone. Her center point is a rock, the very rock she slides her fingers upon as she walks. The ground beneath her has eroded away, nothing but sand beneath her toes. Nothing but nothing as she would like to say.
It's a desert around her, a land of waste. It once stood strong, once stood proud, but now it's gone. Erased from the very ground she walks upon. The memories of what were are the only things she holds on to, fearful of those memories slipping away. Nothing else matters, nothing else pains her so, just the memories of what use to be.
She walks to forget, to erase the memories and the pains in her heart. She walks in her circle forcing the memories of pain to dissipate. With each lap something is lost, with each step something is gone. It's a never ending cycle, of pain and remorse, as she walks to forget, walks in only one course. She knows the tears are falling, she knows she can not stop them. They hit her cheeks and tumble to the ground, to be lost in the nothingness, like everything else.
The rock has obtained a groove, from her fingers against it's surface. A groove so deep her hand is almost lost. All the pain, all the suffering, it has all gone into the rock. The rock has its own path, one carved into it's side. It matches that of his owner as she walks along side. It knows nothing of her pain and her suffering, only that he's bound to her, and that he's helping her continue on.
She walks.
The world has lost her in its own pain, forgetting the child it placed upon its surface. She's damned to walk, in that big circle, forgetting the past, forgetting the people. Her family is gone and she is alone, there is nothing for her to do but walk. Walk in circles, walk in dirt. The dirt left from the surrounding world piling in on her. Her tears help, to remove the dust, but it's still piling, burying her alive.
There is no escape from this hell. She knows no way out and truly, she would rather not find one. She's ok with where she is, knowing the world is caving in on her has brought her some kind of peace. It's not hope in her heart, but it's a form of knowing it will be ok. She's not going to live, she's not going to die, but she knows she going to survive this miserable pain for one more day, only to repeat the cycle. Trying to think of the future is lost to her, for she knows if she does it will all be lost, even the memories of what was she holds on to dearly.
Her fingers will hit the center of the rock one day and it's unstable weight will cave in on the ground beneath her. She will collapse, she will die. She will be in pain, and she knows it. It is just another thing that nags at her brain. Everything except for what was, and what she hopes will come is shoved away. There is no room in her heart anymore for her pains and her regrets for she has vowed to let them go. Let them float away and find someone else to cause torment in.
She hopes there are others, people unlike herself. Ones that can steer off of their never ending course to find a better light. She's stuck where she is, and she knows it it because of free will. The idea of walking off has come up but once, shoved away instantly. No reason to abandon what you know, no reason to leave it behind. Why die fighting, when she can forever live in solitude? A solitude that of course causes pain, but what does not?
Her tears fall, soaking her clothing. She finds herself regretting her decisions which is something she vowed never to do. Sighing she glancing at her fingers, at the groove they have caused. A simple movement, that is all that is needed. There is nothing physical holding her to the surface, nothing keeping her there. Her path is pretty deep but she can find her way out, all she has to do is lift her fingers from its surface.
Glancing away and out at the sky she sighs and closes her eyes. If only she was strong enough, if only. Without thinking, without stopping her circle she lifts her fingers from the surface for a moment. The hellish screams in her head are enough to drive a man insane, drive him to his knees. It's a thousand storms ripping apart her insides, it's a million people screaming out their lungs. It's the world complaining about her stopping, it's the world forcing its pain on her. After a brief second of the screaming in her head she caves. Screaming out herself she places her fingers back on the rock as she continues on in her path. The tears flow freely, as she smiles a little.
No escape, no need to try. The world won't let her, forcing her back into the constant path. She is destined to die, and die she will. There is no fighting, there is no escape. She is stuck. Stuck in this hell. Alone. Damned. Broken.
She walks.
amused
happy